What fears keep me in a pensive state
So close but feels miles away
hoping when I get enough confidence
The stage will still be there
But will my audience be?
who knows anyway
I paint the canvas lots of colors
A camouflage or art?
Is it the end or just a bend?
I guess we`ll never know!
I`ve mapped my thoughts
Drawn it`s borders in ochre and ash
Charted the tributaries of longing
as they snake towards the hollowed seas
of what could have been
I choose to be who I am
The more I say the less I reveal
I am sorry, been in loop long enough
It`s now a muscle memory
Those who hate and love me are both right
At least they`ve seen versions of me
The things of this world excite me less with each breath
See I was 40 when I was only 9
I never healed I lived
long enough to understand
I could vanish into some place unknown
To wash away my anguish and call it home
To make of those empty spaces
canvases I can paint myself on-
My better self
I like to rewrite me into a dream
Into a song
To reside between the highs and lows
of a slow melody
The word ‘I” feels foreign on my tongue
Don`t expect eloquence or anything more
Here is where you`ll find me
A master art, a genius!
A soul so misunderstood
shining bright in still dark space
what do you take of rain?
Does it water your farm or dirt your grains?
Do you listen to music or understand the lyrics?
I guess we`ll never know!
inspired thoughts 